Constellations (A Lams Story)
by tori213
Summary: Alex Hamilton is in his high school's theatre class, regretting ever signing up. He gets partnered up for a mirroring exercise with his old childhood friend John Laurens, a huge theatre kid, along with Elizabeth Schuyler, who is equally as in love with Alex as John is. Alex learns more about himself - as well as John - as the exercise progresses, but likes it all the same.


Constellations

"Creativity at it's finest," the teacher droned on, "isn't when it comes from up here," he said, tapping the side of his head where his hairline began to recede. "It comes from your soul, a place where you can dig deep enough to find something with passion! And vigor!"

Alex's eyes threatened to close and stay closed for the next hour or so. while sitting in his seat. Before that could happen, however, Alex made eye contact with John across the room, who must have glanced over without a second thought, because he looked away rather quickly. Alex didn't think anything of it and went back to the tedious task of listening to Mr. Bradshaw.

"Art is taking your soul, and getting it on stage for all to see. It's taking your inner self and putting it on display," he cried, exasperated with the topic - or maybe he was really into it. Alex wasn't sure.

"Now, for our next assignment, we will be partnering up for a mirroring exercise. The list goes as follows…"

Alex felt his face turn red and his heart race. He never would have signed up for theatre if he hadn't had that stupid schedule change. In the beginning of his junior year, Alex's counselor told him he could only be in creative writing if he took another elective along with it, so he could have the full credits in electives for an advanced diploma. From photography to filmography, theatre seemed like the best choice. He didn't think he would have to get on stage and perform, however. The teacher couldn't _force_ you to do that. He preferred sitting at home in his father's old recliner with a cup of tea and his old notepad, writing.

Alex only knew a few people in the class, among them Elizabeth Schuyler and John Laurens. At the very moment the teacher said the word "partners", Elizabeth looked over at him, her eyes wide. Alex could see this happening in the corner of his eye, but didn't know whether or not to look at her. The teacher had already chosen the partners, and he didn't really want anything to do with Eliza. She was always talking about feminism and how girls do _this_ and girls do _that_...as a 17 year old boy, Alex was lost.

"Elizabeth and Eric, partners...Julia and Sarah, partners...John and Alex H, partners…"

Alex looked over at John, who was already looking at him. Alex's heart skipped a beat - why was he nervous? It was only John. They used to play soccer together in elementary school, but now they talked if they ran into each other in the halls or on the streets of their unusually small town.

 _No big deal,_ Alex thought, _John is cool_. _This assignment will be a breeze._

After Mr. Bradshaw called out all the names, he placed his clipboard on his desk and clapping his hands.

"Now, everyone, find your partner and grab a chair. Face them toward each other and take a seat - just wait for my instruction."

Alex rose from his chair and pulled it toward John, who smiled awkwardly with his purple braces shining.

"Hey Alex!" Oh God. Alex turned to see Eliza on his heels, dragging the black chair behind her. He black eyeliner made her brown eyes larger, though it was a mystery to Alex why anyone would take the time to draw all over your eyes.

"How are you? Partnered with John, huh? Maybe Eric can work with her and I can work with you! You're such a good actor, you know that? We would work really well together."

Alex stared, blank face, not sure what to say.

"Uh...thanks, Elizabeth. I think I'll just work with John. You know. Stick with what the teacher said?" Alex blushed and casted his eyes down, unsure of what to say next. Eliza's posture drooped, and it almost seemed as if her ponytail went with it.

"That's fine," she said, "don't worry about it." What was that tone? Anger? Alex was confused, per usual, and decided to finish dragging the chair to John, who seemed to be waiting eagerly.

"Hey, Alexander," he said, his hands on his knees as he sat on the edge of his chair. His Green Day tee shirt had a hand holding what looked like a heart shaped grenade. Whatever that meant, Alex wasn't sure, but he knew a few songs from the album. He pointed to the shirt, smiling.

"Don't wanna be an American Idiot, huh?" he said, laughing a bit to himself. John beamed, looking down at his shirt.

"Oh yeah, dude, this album was great. But the musical was even better. I wish the school would do it, but it's pretty - you know," he said, raising his hands and looking up, searching for the right word.

"Risque?" Alex tried, observing the curls of John's hair. It would down to his chest, but it curled up to his shoulders.

"Yes, that's the word!" John said, chuckling. "You'd play a good St. Jimmy. I know you're not all _out there_ like some of the other kids here," he said, gesturing to the class, "but you could totally pull it off."

Alex had no idea who St. Jimmy was. "Thanks," he offered, to which John smiled.

"Alright," Mr. Bradshaw snapped, "let's get started. I want utter silence during this exercise, have we got that?" A few people snickered, but a glare from the teacher quickly shut them up.

"Now, I want you to take a deep breath and look at your partner."

Alex looked at John, then looked away. He looked back and John took a breath, and it only took a moment to realize he was about to laugh. Alex looked away, stifling a laugh himself.

"Is there a problem, Laurens?"

"No sir," Laurens said, the red of his cheeks turning from a soft pink to a rose red, his freckles disappearing in the process. John let out a quick laugh and looked back to Alex, but it was different this time. He was composed, and it happened in a second. _God,_ Alex thought. _Actors._

"Now, I want you to really look at your partner. Dont just look at their eyes, look into them. See what they see."

The "utter silence" was interrupted with uncomfortable laughter, but it died down after a few seconds. Alex looked at John, who was knee to knee with him. Suddenly, he could feel everything all at once: he was breaking a sweat, his clothes were a little too tight. His knees were touching John's. And John was looking at him, his back straight and his stare focused. And Alex realized something he hadn't before.

John's eyes were green. An emerald green, shining with such resolution, and little specks of brown like stars on a pitch black night. His cheeks shone pink, with his freckles placed perfectly like constellations. Alex could feel the heat rise to his cheeks, but this time, he didn't break the eye contact. He looked into John's eyes and discovered something he didn't notice before: was it lust? It was the same way Eliza looked at him, but diluted. Quiet.

"Now comes the mirroring part," the teacher said, the quiet room seeming to revive from the unexpected moment of surrealism. "One partner is "A". The other is "B". "A" will follow partner "B" suit. Ready?"

John looked at Alex. "You be "B", alright?"

Alex nodded.

"Go."

Alex took his hand off his knee and raised it slowly in the air, and watched as John followed. Something switched in Alex's head. A feeling rose in his chest as he realized John would do whatever he wanted him to do. It was as if he had him in the palm of his hand. He raised his other hand even slower than before, and watched John raise his had in response. Alex looked into John's eyes, and put a name to the feeling.

Power.

Alex brought his hand to his face, brushing his cheek. John's face turned red, but John failed to break the eye contact with him. Alex raised his hand above his head, and John followed suit, his Green Day tee shirt raising just above his black skinny jeans. Alex held it there, holding John's stare. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see John's skin peeking out just above his jeans. The stare was ardent, but who would be the first to break it, Alex could not say.

Alex brought both his hands back to his knees. John followed. Alex took a breath, letting his chest rise and fall. He seemed to sit up straighter, with John trailing along obediently. Alex leaned forward the slightest bit, and John did as well. The eye contact quivered.

The class was silent. It was almost as if someone dropped a pin, it would be heard. And Alex was so close to John - he could see the different shades of green in his eyes. His breath caught in his throat as John looked down. He looked at his cheeks, his hair - his lips.

That was when Alex felt powerless.

"Alex?" John was so quiet it was as if he mouthed the words.

"Yes?"

"I…" He stopped. "I don't know. I just…"

"John, just say it. Whatever you're thinking."

John looked into Alex's eyes, then down to his lips. Alex's heart was beating so hard he thought he might pass out, or was it John's gaze that made him feel faint?

"You're...I…"

"Alright everyone," Mr. Bradshaw announced, making everyone jump. "The exercise is over. The bell is about to ring."

Alex and John continued to look at each other, pulling away from their close composure. Alex realized what had just happened - he closed his eyes hard. Heat rose to his cheek as he grabbed his bookbag and the bell rang. He almost dashed out the classroom, walking as fast as he could to the boys bathroom. His stood at the sink and looked into the mirror, a sweaty mess. A toilet flushed behind him, and the new foreign exchange student stepped out. He was on the football team and went by his last name, Lafayette, but most people called him Laf.

"Are you okay, my friend?" he asked, his French accent resonant.

"I'm fine, thanks though, Laf," Alex replied, splashing some water on his face. Laf washed his hands while giving Alex a concerned stare. Before drying his hands and leaving, he turned to him.

"I hope you feel well, my friend."

"Thanks, dude."

Alex stood and stared into the mirror again, wondering why his heart raced and his head was swirling and why he couldn't stop thinking about John's hair resting on his shoulders. Why he was obsessed with the way John's lips were curved perfectly or why he was so preoccupied by the way his eyes made him feel like he was floating. But before he could think of a reason, he heard someone behind him.

"Alex?"

He turned to see a boy, a beautiful boy with eyes that made his knees go weak.

"John."

John walked toward Alex, slowly at first - and then suddenly it was as if Alex couldn't wait any longer. He ran up to him and suddenly his mouth was on John's. John kissed Alex softly and with reason, cupping Alex's face with both hands. Alex grabbed at John's tee shirt with vigor and was calmly pulled away from John, who looked at him with a grin.

"I was trying to tell you something, Alex," he said, disheveled yet focused. Alex blushed and looked up at John. Why was he being like this? Whatever was happening, however, it was different. And he liked it.

"Well, ask away," Alex said, eager.

"I need to ask you if I could kiss you?" John smirked. "But I think we've moved past that."

Alex smiled, looking down shyly. "I guess we have." The two boys stood together, looking at each other for what seemed like the first time all day.

"I guess I can say one thing," John said, smiling. Alex cocked his head to the side.

"And that would be?"

"Well, you're the closest friend I've got."

Alex rolled his eyes and pushed John away, laughing all the while.

"John, don't throw away your shot with me! As you know, I've got the girls lined up…"

"Elizabeth, you mean? _Oh Alex, you're so beautiful!"_ John mocked Eliza, pushing up against Alex and grabbing his face. " _Kiss me, Alex, kiss me!"_

Alex smirked. "Well, if you insist," he said, wrapping his arms around John and kissing him hard.

"You know," John said, pulling away from Alex, "you're something else, Alex."

Alex smiled. "Is that a good thing?" he asked.

John looked down at him and smiled. "It's perfect."


End file.
